Belugas,
Welcome back from a long deserved mid-season and All Star break. Unfortunately, no one from our team made the All Star team, but the City of Minneapolis did decide to enter our entire team into a treatment program for alcoholics. We consider this the true All Star team. There were some highlights from our short break:
- Amanda’s history of abduction and forced Guitar Hero watching finally caught up with her, as she was deported back to her native land of Mauritania, a small country on the coast of West Africa. Once she arrived, she was immediately made Dictator once they heard of her cruel and unusual methods of friendship. She has conquered 3 kingdoms in the last 2 weeks.
- Mike was originally named to the All Star team, but when he was forced to arrive at the field sober, the All Star committee discovered that not only did Mike not play well when sober, he did not even know he was on a softball team.
- Kristen, aka White Firecracker, continued to be the only Moline dedicated to athletics, simply by not sitting on the couch drinking for 3 days straight.
- During a Riverboat Gambling Tour, Caitlin (while taking a short break from 36 hours of blackjack) discovered a new passion for fishing. After selling both of Dan’s kidney’s to buy a boat, she was arrested 10 miles off the coast of Florida attempting to spear Cuban’s swimming to the US.
Now, to end with a few organization notes:
- First off, one of our cancelled games has been rescheduled, so we will be playing our last game on July 30th instead of July 27th. This gives Sommer one more week to skip another game, to meet her yearly quota of skipping “all but one game.”
- Next, we are sitting at around 4 games back of 1st place with 3 games to go. We are actually in 8th place out of 10 teams, which is on pace to our best finish ever! But you know what they say, “Beluga’s are a bunch of drunks, how do they even field a team.”
- Finally, we play tomorrow against some jackass team at 7:00pm. As of now, we are slated to play at our normal Nokomis field, which is good for us since our record on the NE field includes 0 wins (versus like a billion at Nokomis).
Until next time, I would like to remind all of you, that it isn’t how far you hit the ball, it’s how much you swear afterwards when you get called out swinging.
White D.
Team Beluga 